MY JOURNEY

If you are reading this and we haven’t had a chance to meet yet, Hi I’m Krisztina, the founder of The Merit Club. I get asked a tonne why I started this club and I thought maybe sharing more about my journey so far can explain why Merit exists and why we do what we do.

Should you be interested, of course…

Well, to start with it’s a club I created to be a hub and guide of inspiration for women who are looking to find more meaning and who want to be more intentional with their time and energy while connecting with other kind, curious and intelligent women.

But before I got to even thinking about starting something on my own, I had to travel a long way… both geographically and personally.

I moved to London from Budapest 12 years ago completely alone to pursue a career in fashion after studying design, and many many years of working incredibly hard - often for free - to get into the industry. I then started building a career in Buying, a very sought after area for creative professionals, which I was incredibly proud to tell anyone about as if it made me a better or more interesting person somehow! In my whole life I defined myself through my career, the harder I worked, the worthier I felt, the more praise I got, the harder I worked. It ended up being a vicious circle of never ending working hours.

It was around this time that I realised that while I had absolute competence in my job, I still felt held back from progressing. I suddenly became painfully aware of my limiting beliefs and debilitating narratives I developed since as long as I can remember. Those deeply rooted issues that I had no idea how to get rid of, but also the perfectionist in me thought that I must do everything to hide them!

When I started reflecting on my relationships at work and outside of work as well as my absolute dread of speaking up in front of people is what made me realise that this, whatever this is, is something that affects every aspect of my life.

After many weeks of searching the web I found something that seem to fit my ‘condition’ and I was able to put a label on this thing. It was called Social Anxiety… As if I had a moment of clarity I was able to explain why I did everything to avoid social gatherings of any kind afraid of being the outsider, why I was so greatly concerned about how people view me and why I often found myself settle in relationships out of comfort.

This was the moment I decided to take an active role in challenging my old beliefs and work on my subconscious narratives by pushing my own boundaries and trying out new things that would challenge me.

This all sounded great in theory, but I often found myself just too busy to seek out the things that did’t just entertain me, but actually helped me gain a new perspective or inspired me in some way. Being busy was also a great excuse not to do it, so it was first around this time that I wished there was a brand I could trust that would organise stylish events with interesting experts to listen to that I could without thinking register to knowing that it will never be a waste of my time.

My prayers were answered and I suddenly had the opportunity to join a fancy member’s club in the heart of Mayfair. At first it felt like the safe space I was looking for, a space shared with ambitious, interesting and accomplished people that I was eager to spend more time with just to soak up their charisma, hoping it will make me the person I wanted to be. The club was a haven of inspiring events with top speakers I never even dreamed of sharing a room with one day but of course it all came with a hefty price tag. Founding idea No.2 was born and started circling in my head:

Why does all of this have to be about how much money we have? Joining a club like that is a privilege that only a few can afford, but shouldn’t it be about our personality and ambition to explore and do quality things instead?

What I realised while being part of the club was that pushing my boundaries had such a positive effect on my confidence; the confidence I needed in order to realise my true potential and to communicate my needs to others with more clarity - or even to communicate them at all…

During this time of personal development and self-discovery I felt the need to break out of my well structured, but limiting corporate career and find my own path, not knowing what this could or should be. I stayed in fashion a little while longer and started working for Lucy Choi, niece of the legendary Jimmy Choo, or uncle Jimmy as we called him in the office - it was all a bit surreal at first, then having an absolute icon pop in and chat to you a few times a month becomes strangely normal… Anyway, back to my story… So seeing Lucy juggling the many different aspects of her business and at the same time becoming an essential part of her team gave me a huge boost of confidence in my own abilities and for the first time in my life I gave myself permission to truly explore what it could be like to run my own business one day.

Then June 18th 2016 came…

I remember clearly that Saturday morning when still lying in bed I had my moment of epiphany.

There should be a safe space for women where they can explore the many different aspects of their lives from art to sexuality through self defence, mental health and more… where they can try out new things without being judged… but all while exploring the many beautiful and often exclusive places of London without breaking the bank… we should all spend more time on our personal growth that is separate from work!! and we would collectively empower each other, us amazing, ambitious, kind and curious women!

It was so exciting to have an idea I connected with on so many levels. I slowly started putting the pieces together in the following months and while still not entirely sure if it was a business idea or just a side project, to my surprise my enthusiasm continued to grow over time. I used this as my compass and decided to 100% commit to making it happen and just go for it! Well… it took me 14 long months before I was brave enough to launch it - learned a tonne in the process - and it was this moment that I fully let go of my career in fashion.

You can say the rest is history, but one thing for sure didn’t end here - my journey of personal discovery and finding a way to believe I was good enough. My social anxiety still rears its head from time to time, but I learned to channel my energy into focusing on you instead, getting out of my head and think with yours. I’m on this path to help women who often feel the way I did, and that is so much bigger than me.

Don’t get me wrong I still get nervous before speaking in front of a group, or have to walk into a room full of people I don’t know. But those feelings simply make me certain that what I set out to do with Merit makes a difference and can help in so many ways.

creating that welcoming atmosphere that we are famous for is the